My life for ours
by Sunny Ice
Summary: Post-Valkyrie (S6/E01,6x01) Kate is willing to fight with all she's got to give to save the possibility of a future for her and Castle *Fluff and family-bonding all the way*
1. Together we stand

**A/N: I realized that I have to post this before Monday to participate in the "What happens in Dreamland"-guessing.**  
Yesterday I was typing 10 word-pages and today I've added some more, althought I should be working on two other stories.  
Again the info: I've not seen the 4th season or the first half of the fifth.

**Will have finished it before the next episode, hope you enjoy.^"^**

* * *

"_Based on the amount found in your blood-stream you have less than a day to live."_

The words echoed in his mind.

Less than a day.

Less than a day means no tomorrow.

No winter.  
No Silvester.  
No kiss for Kate on Silvester.

Kate.  
No wedding.  
No kids.

Alexis.

Missing her growing up further, no seeing her getting old.  
Leaving her alone, like he promised he'd never do.  
He wanted to be a good parent.

Martha.  
She'd have to bury her only child.  
The son she was so proud of.

No future.

Rick looked back into Kate's eyes.

Although she'd shut all emotions down, he could see the hurt behind those strong high walls.

He couldn't do this to her.  
Him not listening to her, not obeying her orders shouldn't be her next breakdown. She'll never be able to pick herself off the floor after the world broke that weight on her shoulder. She'd be buried alive under his death.

How could fate do this to them?

Building something light in the first year.  
Breaking her down the second year.  
Breaking him as well because of her hurt.  
Finally letting them close this seemingly huge gap and find something beautiful.

To rip it all away on one single day?

To start at square one and let them fall harder than they did for each other?

No way, not as long as he's breathing.

"I've fought too hard to let it slip now because of my stupidity."

He said it quietly, never letting her gaze wander.

She just looked at him, thanking whatever higher force to let him be this strong.

"Then we'll better start." She stood up, gripping his hand even tighter.

How could she now be the one to let go, after all the times he didn't give up on her. On _them._

Before she'd gotten into the interrogation room to him, she'd talked to McCord and their boss.

If Castle wanted to do something against the toxin, they would help them.

She knew this wasn't just for her or him. She presented them a guinea pig to run tests if this toxin could be stopped in case the killers who stole it couldn't.

Not for one second moving more than an arm's length away from Castle, and as if her hands were fused to his, she rushed to the elevator, nodding to McCord, who turned around to confirm her boss that Castle wouldn't go home and spend quality time with his family but maybe his last hours in a white-tiled room, needles and cords in his body to grab the less than slight chance to live through this.

Kate stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the floor before the last.  
Then she leaned back against the cool wall, closing her eyes and slowing breathing.

She was sure for this to happen. Only a tiny voice inside her thought he'll go home, sit on the couch and watch his last movie with Alexis, Martha and herself drinking coffee.

Kate knew he was on the same wavelength and wanted to spend many more evenings like that.

"I love you." His steady voice broke her out of her reverie. She smiled and opened her eyes to look at him.

"I love you too." Despite the cameras she knew were watching them, she leaned in and kissed him slowly. Both her hand stroking his cheek and her lips moving on his telling him wordlessly that everything will be okay.

For some odd reason he wasn't nearly as afraid as when he held her in his arms, telling her to stay with him, telling her that he loves her, wishing the bullet was not killing the love of his life. Especially not on the day she spoke on the funeral of her Captain who has been somewhat of a father to her.

She had buried too many beloved ones.

Kate had survived than.

And he will now.

"I want a white picked-fence," he told her, smiling.

She laughed. Of course he had to joke in a situation like this.

Not so long ago in the dead of the night he'd told her that the scar on her would make him find her anywhere, even in the dark, even if he lost his eye light like the prince searching for Rapunzel, because of the sign of strength she had so close to her heart.

Her heart. So long she was being heartless to him, because he had stolen it without her noticing.

"So I can't push you away any more?" She asked, a glint of happiness in her eyes.

"So I remember that I can't let you be unprotected from this world."

He wasn't joking, although he sounded like it. He was deadly serious.

"I'll give up DC. I'll try to get back at the 12th and have you near me to protect you."

He opened his mouth to protest, but she shut him up with another kiss.

"I had my chance. Maybe if it were solely for me and the boys and Lanie, I'd stay here and visit them. But with you and your family-"

"_Our _family."

Kate breathed out, smiling and closing her eyes once more.

"Sure. _Our _family. I can't do this. I'm not on my own anymore. All my life I was, but now I have to take care of Martha and Alexis as well as you and me."

"But-"

"I'm not fighting the bad guys solely to take revenge for my mother and help the remnants of victims. I'm solving crimes because I want to.  
I want to come to work in the morning, stare blankly out the window, waiting for you to waltz in and hand me my coffee; for the boys to brief me and for Gates to give us all a new puzzle to solve as a team. I want to have lunch with Lanie, banter with Esposito and see Ryan as soon-to-be-father have that special glow I believed was just for the pregnant _women_. I want my people and my pace. And you of all people know best that I always get what I want."

**u-_-u**

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**For I'm still new in the fandom, please give me feedback! And if you're willing to beta this story, tell me!  
**

btw:"Silvester" is in this case no black cat chasing a yellow bird, but the evening before new year, the 31st of December.

**Typing hectically to finish this and waiting for reviews, Sunny**


	2. Don't be afraid

**A/N:T**hank you for the reviews and the hits on this story.

I will publish a new chapter every 12 hours, if possible.  
Never thought, I'd be a Caskett-shipper but after "Watershed" I changed my mind. Though I liked Kate's character in the prior seasons better...

Anyway- stay optimistic and remember the cardinal rule: "Castle" belongs to ABC, ABC belongs to Disney, and protagonists don't die in the Happy World.

* * *

The halting elevator stopped her speech as they reached the lab.

She showed her ID to the secretary and they were led up and down corridors to a room with a desk and stool on the east wall, a cot on the north and an armchair next to the cot.

"Doctor LeBlanche is just finishing some tests. She'll be with you in a few minutes," the woman said to Rick with a reassuring smile. He nodded and took a few steps into the room.

Kate searched for cameras on the ceiling. Just one looking over the door.

Fine, some privacy was always good.

"Scared?"

He nodded.

With his back to her he said, "Who wouldn't be, when the love of your life who you proposed to just a few months back, after fighting for her for years, tells you that you'd die because you didn't listen to her and couldn't stay put and keep your nose out of her work."

His shoulders slumped.

Kate closed the distance between them and, given she was as afraid as him, her steps were uneven and her legs shaking. She hadn't felt like this in a long time.

"Hey," she softly planted a hand on his shoulder and turned him around. "It was good that you didn't listen to me from the beginning." He looked at her, his brow furrowed, not quite believing what she said. "I never would've caught Tisdale if you'd stayed in the car as I told you." She gave him a genuine smile.  
"And all those other cases after that?" She wanted to carry on but he cut in.

"You wouldn't have solved them without me." He grinned weakly.

"Not as fast, no." She gave him that much. "But you know, the boys and I have brought criminals behind bars when you were just writing about it."

The door opened and a woman, probably five or six years older than Rick, entered the room. She had her blond hair clamped in her neck and green, lively eyes, standing in hard contrast to the traces of wrinkles surrounding her lips and the crow-feet her slightly tanned skin was crimped with. Under her lab- coat she wore a white blouse and white trousers. In her hands she held a clipboard.

"Mister Castle, Agent Beckett. I'm Doctor LeBlanche." She motioned for them to sit down and took a seat herself on the stool. Kate and Rick leaned against the cot, again holding hands.

"I'm glad you decided to let us run a few tests to erase the toxin from your blood. I will do anything in my power to help you do this." Her voice was soft and reminded Kate of the lessons she had taken herself about how to talk to a person going through something traumatic.

"First of we have to take another blood-sample from you to see how far the toxication has influenced your system. We'll monitor your heart-rate as well as your brainwaves. I hope you aren't afraid of needles, Mister Castle?" She smiled at him, trying to ease the tension.

"Then a basic vital-check. Weight, height, reflexes. Do you feel any different by now compared to this morning?"

"A bit nervous, but nothing more."

"Great. That'll make things a lot easier." LeBlanche looked at their interlaced fingers. "I guess Agent Beckett'll stay with you?"

"Always," Kate answered, choosing her words carefully to make him as relaxed as possible.

"I'll tell Julie to bring some cushions and blankets." She nodded and made her way to the door.

"Thanks," Rick called after her.

"If we succeed, humanity has to thank you." With one last smile she closed the door behind herself.

"Humanity has to thank us already, don't you think?" Rick murmured to no-one special.

"Humanity is quite unthankful," Kate sighed. "But maybe karma isn't."

"Why, lovely Kate, there I was thinking you don't believe in such things as karma." His smirk was back in place.

She chuckled. "Must be someone or something up there pulling a few strings if I have _that_." She took out the chain from under her blouse and opened the clasp to take off the beautiful silver ring with the way too big stone.

When a thought hit her, she quickly stuck it on her finger.

He looked questioningly at her.

"Can't possibly leave the life I will lead next to the one I lost, I have to keep it close to the first important one I saved."

Behind her little laugh was so much more, but for the moment Rick was overwhelmed by how much he loved this woman. He took her hand gently in his and kissed the finger now holding the ring.

"And we'll save many more," he whispered.

Just as he was about to kiss her, the door flew open and the secretary –her upper body hidden behind a stack of blankets, cushions and a pillow- rushed in.

Rick, every time the gentleman, took some of the cushions and the pillow from the stack and placed them on the cot.

Julie thanked him, then turned to speak to Beckett as well, "If you need anything else, call ninety-one over the phone." She pointed to the device stuck on the wall beside the door.

Beckett and Castle nodded unison. As soon as the woman was gone, some scientists –or were they just assistants?- brought in the instruments and machines to take Castle's vitals status.

Kate used the distraction to send a message to Martha and Alexis to call her as soon as they had a few moments in peace.

Martha took only a few minutes and Kate answered the call outside the open door, while Rick was being measured.

"Is everything okay, Katherine? Your message was not as annoyed of Rick as usually."

She could've laughed at the lightness in the voice of her soon-to-be mother-in-law.

Kate took a deep breath, as noiseless as possible not to give her fear away and frighten Martha.

"Actually Rick did something stupid again. Can you and Alexis take the next plane to D.C.?"

Martha sighed. "How much money do I have to take with me to bail him out?"

"No. No money. It's just…he's not as healthy as he should be."

"Did he get shot?" Panic was obvious in her voice.

"No, he didn't get shot. And he's still conscious and standing. We just don't know the end of this and I really want you two over here with us. Is that possible?"

She didn't have to ask, she already knew the answer.

"Naturally. But Kate, answer me one question," Kate held her breath. "Will he still be alive when we arrive?"

She closed her eyes, listening to her rapidly beating heart. She couldn't remember ever being that scared when talking to Martha.

"Yes," and she believed it herself. "I make sure he is."

They checked the formalities of the arrival and the transport to the Headquarters, when Kate had another incoming call. She needn't look at the display to know who it was.

"Alexis is calling. Take her to the airport; I'll take care of the tickets. Just go and don't worry, Martha, I got this."

Kate wasn't half as confident as she sounded, but she had to be strong for the women who already were her family long before the proposal.

She took the call and told Alexis nearly the same things as she had a few moments before the girl's grandmother. Alexis was on her way to the loft, but turned around and called a cab to the airport, she'll meet her grandmother there.

"Kate?"

"Yes?"

"Make sure you'll become my step-mother, will you?"

"I do."

The little laugh on the other end gave her hope.

Yes, she will not only make sure that Rick survived _this_ day, but many more, especially after they were married.

She hung up and went back into the room, just in time to see the assistants pack up and Rick buttoning his shirt.

Kate stood before him, softly nudging his hand away and doing it herself.

There was no special purpose behind it, just the wish to do something for him.

He sighed heavily and leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and breathing in her scent.

"Martha and Lexis coming?"

"I called and booked the tickets, they're on the way."

"Worried?"

"Not much, I hope."

He nodded, circling his arms around her waist.

"Thank you."

"We're a team. All four of us. We fight together."

When Dr LeBlanche entered the room and told them about the actual status, Rick had one thought on his mind:

_Fighting includes the possibility of losing._

**u-_-u**

* * *

**I would love to read something from you again, 'm open to all kinds of criticism as well as fangirly outbursts!-)**


	3. Our family

**A/N: F**or I'm watching the reruns of the first season, there are references to "Little girl lost". First the case itself then a "Marthaism". Crazy woman. I love her character, but you'll notice that soon I think;-)

* * *

Several needles stuck his arms, ripped his skin and sucked blood out of him, or mixed it inside his body with some fresh- from- the- lab- liquids.

He endured every added syringe and every lost liter.

Kate almost felt the need to flinch herself with all the harm done to him.

The need to shout, because he was stoic.

The need to cry because he was so much stronger than her right now.

She never let go of his hand though, occasionally stroking over his arm or bare chest to give him some comfort.

There was still hope in his eyes.

Enough hope for the two of them to not break down.

Most of the time they were alone with the beeping machines which sent their results to screens in some other room. Maybe the same room all the mixtures came from.

She didn't know and she saw in his face that his mind was too weak to produce any kind of thoughts.

He had lost track of time long ago. Or was it just moments ago? He didn't know. He didn't care. Needles, pads, fluids- whatever they gave him, he grit his teeth, squeezed Kate's hand and endured it.  
He just refused to give up on the hope that he'll jump up within seconds like Popeye after eating spinach.  
Maybe he should ask for that. Maybe the most ridiculous solution worked. Like it has always in the years since he met Kate.

His muse, his love, his fiancé.

One woman more worth to fight for his life.

"Kate?"

"I'm here, Rick." The pressure on his hand told him that like her velvety voice - soft but rough.

"You need to sleep." She must've been up for more than eighteen hours by now.

"I have my coffee." She held up a cup Julie brought her.

"Monkey pee in battery-acid?"

"Not every department has a bestselling author to support them," she chuckled softly.

"Glad you're coming back to the espresso-machine."

"And to the bestselling author?"

"And to the annoying but brilliant shadow of yours." Every word needed effort, like a very old man speaking and not a newly- engaged father of a teenage daughter.

Kate let nothing of her worries show. She'd shown enough of them to let him know she shared his pain and fears, but now she was the one standing straight and covering him from the storm.

"Wanna know something?" She started a new distraction for both of them.

He raised one eyebrow, willing her to go on.

"That evening in the kitchen of the parents with the not so kidnapped daughter-"

"The Candelas."

"Right. When Will was kissing me, and you spoke up behind us," Kate smiled at the memory. "For a moment there I thought it was _you_ kissing me." She propped her elbow on the cot and her chin on top of that. "When I pulled back I was kinda disappointed you stood this far away."

"Me too."

"Don't be."

Again the eyebrow.

"He wasn't nearly as good as a kisser as you are."

"Can you show me just how good of a kisser I am?" His eyes were half-lidded from exhaustion but they still showed the spark of his boyish charm.

Kate laughed and stood up to lean over him. She was so close that she could feel his warm and steady but slow breath on her lips as she whispered, "If you weren't at my mercy I wouldn't do that, you know?"

Hope and love were in this kiss, giving him some more assurance of the worthiness of his current battle.

Someone cleared their throat.

McCord stood in the doorframe, looking at Beckett without showing any emotion.

"Agent, we need you to confirm two identities."

The contrast to the kiss she'd just shared with the man she had known so long to the way her new partner asked her to welcome her family couldn't be any sharper.

On a screen behind the waiting room for guests Kate signed that these two women were Alexis Castle, daughter of the man treated some floors under them, and Martha Rogers, his mother; and that Beckett took any responsibility of their actions.

Meaning when they so much as broke a pencil in the Headquarters she could go to jail.

Slowly she opened the door and let the two hug her.

"You're paler than a ghost, are you okay, Katherine?" Martha asked her voice full of worry.

Kate was flattered by the fact that Martha hadn't asked for her son but for her health first.

"I am okay, and Rick will be too-" she asked the two to sit down again with a movement of her hand. "-but right now…he isn't looking that healthy. They took a lot of blood from him, and he isn't allowed to drink or eat." She brought a hand to her forehead and let it rest there a few seconds. The exhaustion was now very difficult to hide, but she did her best.

"He was intoxicated. Right now we're doing everything our sources allow us to get back his own health, but the toxin has been in his system for nearly twelve hours and he is becoming weaker by the minute."

She looked first Martha then Alexis in the eyes. Latter had already tears in them.

Kate handed her the cup she was still holding.

"Drink this." Alexis did, instantly feeling easier because of the tea. Kate had lied to Rick- the cup contained not gross coffee but some tea with a sedative.

Though she was now practically falling asleep while standing, she wasn't falling apart because of the feelings washing her strength away.

"Have you eaten something today?" Martha asked her.

Kate shook her head no.

Out of her big schoolbag Alexis handed her a box with bread and vegetables.

"I needed the chocolate-bar for the flight," she said smiling apologetically.

Kate took the box and smiled back at Alexis. On some days she looked like an adult, even without one streak of make-up, but today she was just a scared little girl.

"Come on, we'll go see him."

Silently they made their way down to the lab.

Kate thought about how to make this as easy and least frightening as possible, Martha hoped the bad feeling she had had since the call was nothing but overreacting and Alexis recalled all the days when she was being sick and her father had told her to fight the evil little beasts inside her with all her strength.

The white tiles echoing the clacking of their steps, lacking any other sound.

In front of the room Kate turned once again to the women: "Try not to break down. He looks like walking death, but remember- he only looks like it."

She pushed down the handle and went ahead.

She smiled at Rick, who had covered his arms and chest with a blanket to spare his family the horrible look.

"Hi," he breathed released. _If_ he had to die today, he was surrounded by his family and that loosened nearly all of the knots in his stomach.

"Oh Richard, what did you do know?" Martha swiveled over to her son and hugged him, carefully avoiding the cords and tubes.

"You know I stuck my nose in too deep and the white rabbit bit it off."

She gave him a scolding look, not just for his comment, but for the mess he brought himself in.

"How could you joke at such a time?" Alexis nearly shouted. "Dad, you're being on the edge of death and all you do is talking nonsense." Tears spilled from her eyes. Kate made herself ready to get the girl out if she didn't calm down. "You're a writer, the worst you should suffer from are paper-cuts. And now you're lying here, poisoned by a some unknown toxin and the last thing you wanna do in your life-" She cut off, clutching her hand over her mouth to cover the escaping sob.

Kate grabbed her by the shoulders to steady her and led her out, Martha got her the armchair to sit down.

"Alexis," latter started and waited that their eyes locked. "All the time you were the adult, the strong one in our little family. The baby-pea." She wiped at her granddaughter's tears. "And although you have every right to shout at your father, calm down and sort out your mind. Focus on coming up with an idea. You're in college, you have reached the highest education of us all." Martha laughed a little, trying to help Alexis in every possible way. "And now you have to show us. Show us that we sent the right one to the geniuses. Look at the man over there. Don't see him as your father, just as a challenge to conquer. Up there-" She tipped on the girl's forehead. "-is the right idea. Kate and I will bring you some information. You come up with a formula to solve this problem. Then we use it, pack our things and have some late dinner. Okay?"

Alexis nodded weakly.

"Okay. Take your time, baby-pea."

**u-_-u**

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All you followers out there: Why are you following this story, please tell me, I really am eager to know.


	4. My daughter

**A/N: Starting with the solution here!  
**

... and some Martha and Kate mother-daugther (-in-law)- bonding.  
lezzles1956: Thanks for the input, but the boys will have their entrance, don't worry!-)

* * *

Martha took Kate's hand and walked out of the room, closing the door silently behind them.

"Shouldn't we have stayed with her? She seems a bit unstable," Kate asked.

"To be honest I don't know. I went with the first thing that came to my mind."

"Distraction."

"Anything to loosen her mind from the knowledge that tomorrow she could be a half-orphan. Had no better idea."

"I think it worked. I hear no sobs." Kate sighed and rubbed her upper-arms fighting the cold that she felt inside out.

"He'll be fine." Martha turned to her. "He won't go down, now that he has reached every goal he aimed for."

The younger woman huffed. "He never did give up."

"I have seen him grow up, seen the path he went down to become the man he is now. Well, not exactly the pale cloth he is at this very moment, but the confidence he built up."

She started to wander the corridor, Kate fell in step next to her.

"When he was young he soon had to be on his own. I regret that to the point where I still think I did best for him. But as any other mother, who wants their kids to be responsible, I was scared at how fast he grew up. The day he told me he would become a father and marry the woman who was carrying his child, I nearly had a heart-attack.

"Then Meredith ran away, leaving him with the burden of never knowing if he was being a good parent. I tried to help as much as I could, and I would lie if I said I didn't enjoy raising not only a girl but my most wonderful and stunning granddaughter.

"With the time he had the stupid thought that a girl needed a mother-figure. I was working again and he wanted to give her some normality. Gina stepped into his life and got him to become her personal money-bank. Not enough that he was writing books, she got her more than fair share of, but she wanted him to buy her the most expensive and the newest and the most unnecessary things.

"He endured it for some time, but he realized that Alexis was not only spending no time with the new woman, but also that _he_ had less time for her. One evening I brought Alexis to bed and went to his office. I wanted to tell him that this couldn't go on and that he'll lose his daughter because of that…Barbie.  
But as soon as I saw him I knew that there was no need of words. He sat in his chair, a glass of scotch in his hand, his shoulders slumped and his eyes closed. On his desk were the papers for his divorce.

"I didn't know what to say, so I turned around and wanted to go to bed myself, but he called me back. He told me that I should prevent him from ever being so stupid again. 'Shoot me, if you need to,' he said.  
'To give your daughter the final blow? Not a chance.' I stayed up until I heard him sleep soundly in his bed.

"Five years ago I received a call from your late boss, Captain Montgomery, who asked me if I would come and get him out of holding. It was the first time I saw you. You seemed stiff, as if someone had spit in your morning-coffee. Right then I knew, we'd meet again because of Richard.  
To be honest I bet with myself how soon that would be.  
He didn't leave me to wait long, swiveling home and locking himself in to write the whole night. In the morning I found a note saying he was out shadowing his new muse.

"I blamed it on the lack of sleep, but I saw him every day after he worked with you being as lively as I haven't seen him for years because of a woman. I knew he was at first only interested in having a new conquest. But after he stuck his nose in your mother's case…he changed. Became more serious.  
He started to care for you, wanted to keep you around.

"With any other woman out there I would've talked some sense into this thick head of his, but you were different. You could keep up with him, challenged him, defied him. So I just kicked back and watched, only stepping up when I feared he'd screw up. I couldn't let this happen, seeing your were not only good for him, but for Alexis and me as well."

Martha stopped and looked at Kate.

"I could say that if I had a daughter she'd be like you. But you wouldn't be the strong, kind and grounded woman you are if you were my own flesh and blood. And you wouldn't be the best mother for my granddaughter and wife for my son.  
Kate, I know I don't do this very often, but I'd like to thank you for accepting the proposal."

She took both of Kate's hand in hers.

"It won't change anything about the way we three feel, it just makes it official that you're part of our crazy little family."

Martha leaned in and hugged the one she saw as one of hers. Then she straightened up and looked Kate in the eyes.

"Thank you, Martha. But let me say something as well: I would have taken you without Rick and the other way round. If there is such a thing as fate- and right now I believe in anything- I would've met you and placed you into my life."

"Agent Beckett?" Doctor LeBlanche said carefully behind her. "I have to tell you something."

**u-_-u**


	5. No way out

"You couldn't find an antidote?" Kate nearly shouted after the news seeped in.  
"You have the best scientists working in the most expensive labs! How could you not find an antidote?" She placed her hands over her mouth to keep herself from hyperventilating. "I can't believe this," she laughed almost insanely and turned around, bringing her hand to her hairline.

"Did you do any test you can? If something costs too much, we'll pay it ourselves, we give all the money needed," Martha tried.

LeBlanche just shook her head sadly.

Kate chrouched down and leaned against the wall.  
She knew how to handle a panic-attack. She just didn't know how to handle this situation.

No antidote.

No hope.

No tomorrow.

She heard Martha talking to LeBlanche, urging her to do more, do something, _anything_ that'll get this toxin to be at least harmless.

Kate closed her eyes and listened to her heartbeat. Blood pumping through her veins, giving her life, giving her a tomorrow. A lone tomorrow.

'Don't just think about yourself, there is someone who will have it worse than you.'

Kate raised up again and cleared her throat.

"Are you sure there is nothing you can do?"

She was being professional as she was when she told him about this misery so many hours ago.

Silently the scientist shook her head. "I'm really sorry."

Kate nodded and turned to Martha. "I'll tell Alexis."

The elder woman didn't seem to hear her, talking vivdly to LeBlanche again.

After a soft knock, Kate entered the room, keeping her gaze to the floor. She'd give away the hurtful truth with one look in his eyes and that was the last thing she wanted.

"Alexis…"

But the young woman knew her almost as well as her father.

"No," she breathed.

"No! There has to be something we can do." She looked between her father and the woman who was supposed to become her mother.

"Alexis…" Richard reached out for her. He was strangely calm, having suspected something bad like that when he saw how Kate had moved in. As if she was walking on broken glass.

"No, dad, no! Kate, tell them we'd do anything to help him. Regardless of how much it costs, of what we have to give, I'll give everything I have to save my dad…" she trailed off, becoming still as a statue.

When she didn't move for a few seconds, Kate tilted her head and took a step forward.  
"Alexis?"

She snapped out of her thoughts.  
"That's it! That is the solution! I have everything I need to save him. Kate, I can save him!"

u-_-u


	6. My life for ours

Enthusiastic she hugged the stunned woman.

Had she snapped?

Was she not as strong as they all thought?

"How?" Kate brought out, as her lungs were nearly crushed.

"My life!"

"Wha- Alexis, what are you talking about?" With light force she peeled the girl off of herself.

"My blood! Kate, we can take my blood and replace it with his. We'll wash the toxin out of his system."

She looked over to the door, where Martha and Doctor LeBlanche stood, frozen.

"Is that possible?" Martha whispered.

"We can try to wash his blood, but I don't know what will happen to the internal organs, where the blood already worked on. And we can't take solely his own blood, we need at least one person to donate him blood…"

"Then why didn't we do this in the first place?!" All the desperation of a mother spoke out of Martha.

"Because we were hoping for an antidote-"

"You were using him to try save the world. You've had your blood-sample, you didn't need a living…object to test it."

"Martha…" Kate was as enraged as she was, but she knew what to do. And yelling at the Doctor wasn't it.

"No, Kate." She held up one finger to try and silence her. "This woman should be sticking to her Hippocratic oath and save the currently ill person before she searches for an antidote, and letting my son-"

"Martha!" Kate snapped. Then she took a breath and continued calmly. "You're right, this woman should do her job. So let her now get her assistants and all the things she needs so we can save Castle, okay?"

She'd nodded at LeBlanche to do as she said. When the woman rushed off, she lead Martha to the armchair and sat her down firmly.

"You have the save blood-group as Rick?"

Martha nodded.

"Any illnesses or the possibility of some, which were not passed on?"

She shook her head.

"Good, then you'll start." It was most likely that his mother had the best blood for him for he had no siblings.

She turned to Alexis.

"I'll let myself be tested, as well as you. If I can't donate, you'll jump in."

Kate was back in work-mode: _Control, save and defuse.  
Take control of the situation, save the innocent and defuse this possible bomb._

"First of all we ask for some more chairs," she was already on the way to the phone. She told Julie in brief words what she wanted.

"Then we have to check: are we feeling well?" The woman nodded. "No cardiovascular problems, especially after that long day and the flight?" If they noticed that they had been running on adrenaline the whole day or most of it, now they would be shut down by their own system unknowingly and feel the exasperation.

"No, I've had enough to eat and since the day before yesterday no alcohol. And even then it was just a glass of wine. I'm a bit stressed from the last few hours tough."

"Alexis?"

"I've eaten breakfast and a sandwich for lunch, and a whole bag of gummy bears on the flight. And except for the breakdown in here I was fine all day long." She seemed embarrassed of said breakdown, but Kate would take care of that later.

"Wonderful."

LeBlanche arrived with her assistants and brought the needed machines and supplies.

She handed Alexis and Martha each a clipboard to fill out and sign.

Julie was there as well, bringing in another armchair and a second cot for the one currently donating blood to lay on.

Kate looked at Rick.

He was still hanging on that machines, now he had an oxygen-mask over his mouth and nose.

His eyes were closed. He seemed to sleep.

She tore her gaze away. _We'll save you. Just hold on and give us time._

But time was the last thing she had right now.

After Alexis and Martha she stretched her arm out as well, letting a blood-sample be taken from her.

She was nervous, everything seemed to go on in slow-motion and it took several breathes to not shout at anyone.

Though the thought that a collegue-student with nearly no specific medical knowledge came up with a better idea than a doctor who must've worked in this job for very long and with very good possibilities disturbed her.

"We'll have to wash the blood before we input it to Mister Castle's circulation. This will take a few minutes at least but thanks to this machine, which washes the blood in a stream this goes pretty fast." Again LeBlanche smiled. This time Kate wasn't reassured, but had to fight the urge to knock this woman into the next wall.

This incapable, uninspired, _dumb_ woman.

"Need something else?" Julie still stood outside the door, her hands folded over her lap and waiting for anything given to her.

_She helps us more than LeBlanche._

Alexis asked for a glass of water and Martha for some tea, if that would be likely to have here.

But the secretary promised to do anything in her power, and Kate made a mental note to send her flowers or something after all this was over.

With a happy ending.

u-_-u

* * *

**A/N: S**pecial thanks go out to EP, alias Adeshiko. She give me the infos I needed for making my idea to save Rick real. And she was the one telling my about this show, and now, years after I watched that one episode with her (and I still can't remember which one it was) I became a fan myself.

Any scientist, who can't think this is possible?  
Any fans to tell me what the think? Come on, over 50 followers! Let me have a piece of your mind! Review!


	7. A future

Minutes later, Martha had a needle in one arm and the other over her eyes. She had moved the cot as close to her son as possible.

Next to her stood a mug of tea, slowly getting cold and the soft rumble of the blood-washing-machine, as Kate had named it, was the only sound in the room.

Kate sat on Rick's other side, holding his hand and wordlessly praying to every higher force she'd ever heard of to let this man become her healthy husband for decades.

She looked over the sleeping form of Alexis, whose head laid on her arms next to her father's leg on the cot.

Feeling motherly instincts flooding her, Kate stood up and laid Rick's hand softly down. Then she moved as quietly as possible to wrap her soon-to-be step-daughter in a blanket. As she'd done this she planted a light kiss on the girl's head.

She sat down again and looked at the people surrounding her.

_My family. Even without the band on my finger or the signature under a contract._

After they had gotten the results of the tests, there was another strike back: Alexis' fresh wound on her leg was making her blood incompatible.

The good side was that Kate could step in and donate her blood to the man she loved.

Never in her life had she been that relieved, not even as Rick had offered her a proposal instead of the breakup she was expecting.

They could do this. Altogether they'll get him out of the red zone and back to life.

Tomorrow she'll be bantering around with him instead of grieving over him.

Tomorrow he'll cook pancakes for Alexis and ask her about college.

Tomorrow he'll drink a glass wine with his mother and discuss some odd topic.

Maybe not tomorrow, but in a week or so he'll be his old self:

Twirling her locks in the early morning, telling her to stay in bed with him just a little while longer.

Looking at her as if she was a dream come true.

Whispering something indecent to make her blush in public.

_Going back to NY and solve cases with the boys._

Getting her old life back only with the exception of being his partner in life as well as in crime-solving.

Not having everything turned upside-down.

Her dream was to be happy, not to have to make one compromise after the other for some higher position she fit in well.

She meant what she'd said earlier in the elevator to him. Every word of it.

His heart-rate was slowly becoming stronger. His pulse was getting back to weak but not life-threatening.

She brushed her fingers over his. "Don't you leave me alone at the starting-line," she whispered.

Slowly the door opened and a woman Kate didn't know stepped in.

She was not much younger than Kate but she had something in the way she walked that made one think she knew what she was doing. Bright red locks and green eyes behind silver-rimmed rectangle glasses showed some temper.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Green. I took Doctor LeBlanche's shift." Her voice was the one of a girl younger than Alexis, but respectfully quiet. She spoke only to Beckett, who shook her hand.

"I'm specialized on blood- transfusions. To be honest, I've never done something as big as this, changing all the intoxicated blood out of one man, but I have my team with me and we'll manage this."

On her last words she crouched down next to the armchair.

"Do you have any questions by now?"

Kate was glad she asked. "Yes, when will I be on Martha's place?"

Green looked at her watch. "Three minutes. Five minutes after that, you've your blood in your fiancé." She smiled sincerely.

"How'd you-"

"I saw the way you're holding his hand. Sure, you could be his sister, but you looked nothing like the others." She brushed a lock behind her ear. "And I've heard about you. Richard Castle and his muse. A few years ago, when that article in the Ledger came out I bet on it to happen. Haven't heard much of these rumors since then."

A small smile broke its way onto Kate's lips.

"Soon you'll hear again of us, I'm afraid." She turned her left hand which was still holding Rick's to show the ring.

"If I would have to bet again, I'd say he wanted to show his love to you, not his money to the world. Congratulation."

"Thanks." Kate blushed. This woman was so nice and comforting, she gave her new hope.

A knock on the door signaled the arrival of the assistants.

"Seems like it's your turn. You ready?"

Beckett nodded and relaxed back in her armchair as two young scientists came in to rid Martha of the tubes in her arm after waking her gently.

This team was one you felt human with and not like a testing-object.

Green switched the pipes and tubes to Beckett herself.  
After one brief look at Martha she'd told one of her team to dim the light. Seconds after the young man had left the room, the light didn't sting in the eyes anymore.

Kate sighed for the umpteenth time this day, but this time she relaxed. Wordlessly Martha handed her the mug and let her drink enough to wash the stale taste out of her mouth.

Worn out like she was, she closed her eyes and let her head fall back.

The Castle-Beckett-Rogers family was alone again, so she could let her mind wander.

To the wedding.

To the honeymoon.

To the marriage itself.

She'd be married to her favourite author.

Strange feeling.

But good nonetheless.

Very good.

Who would've thought that her one-and-done was the mastermind behind those books she loved so much?

Now she loved _him_.

Had taken her long enough to realize it.

To admit it to herself.

To act upon it.

To keep it and not run away.

To fight for it, no matter what.

"Blood is a juice of very special kind," Alexis mumbled in her sleep.

"That is, but don't sign a contract with it," Martha spoke to her sleeping granddaughter. "Kate, don't you want to lie down?"

"M-mh." Kate was even too tired to shake her head no, let alone speak.

"Okay. But one word and we switch."

This time she just smiled.

u-_-u

* * *

Yes, I quoted "Faust". One of the best pieces ever written, I think.  
That's also why I picked the name of the story. Blood as the essence of life, saving the same.

And what do you think about my FF? I was being nice and gave you 3 chapters on one day.^"^


	8. Sleeping and dreaming

**A/N: T**o say a thanks to my first reviewer, I gave Green her first name.

I am being very thankful to reviewers, so let me be thankful to more people who review! (Do I seem desperate?...Must be the lacking hours of sleep...typed this in two days and nights straight.)

* * *

Kate felt like being on a cloud.

A fluffy, lovely, stark white cloud.

Above her was the sunshine bright and warm giving her all the more of the comfort she needed.

She was alone, but not lonely, she could feel her family around her, all of her families in fact.

The Becketts and the Castle-Rogers and the boys and Lanie from the precinct.

Kate laughed.  
Relieve washed over her like warm rain.

She felt hands on her arms, pulling her up and closer to the sun.  
When the light became too bright, she closed her eyes.

"Kate." All of her beloved ones chanted.

w-_-w

She opened her eyes and looked at Martha, who was stroking her arm to wake her up gently.

"Darling, you can't pass out on us, now."

"She didn't pass out, she just fell asleep." For a brief moment the female voice was foreign to Kate, then the happenings of the last hours came back to her mind.

"It is okay, Mrs Rogers, Agent Beckett was up for nearly twenty-four hours, she should sleep." Green's voice was silent, and the smile was audible.

"You can call me Kate," Agent Beckett said after taking a deep breath to awake.

"Victoria." Now she could see the smile.

"Just like my boss." And mirrored the expression on her own face.

Victoria looked at her puzzled.

"Back in New York my Captain was Victoria Gates."

"May I ask you a private question, Kate?"

"If you want to know if I go back to my team, the answer is yes, I just have to get clear if I'm solving the current case. If I'm allowed, given I want to."

Green just nodded. That was her question indeed.

"How is he?" Kate nodded to Rick, only taking a short look at him.

"You'd be glad to hear that he's stable. The toxin is out of his circulation system and we're working on getting it out of the vital organs too." She looked over her clipboard.

"Because of the tests Doctor LeBlanche did, I could find the right components to add to your blood and got good results. I spare you the details, but though I'm not sure _how_, I'm sure _that_ he will still be with us tomorrow morning." Green had looked at her watch.

Kate assumed that, because Rick was given till the next day after she'd talked to him, it was past midnight and this nightmare had started yesterday.

She still was a bit tense at the memory of the gruesome news, the downbreaking hopelessness LeBlanche gave them.

Rick will survive. That was the only thing important now.

He will live and make many more remarkable memories with her.

Smile at her.  
Marry her.  
Kiss her on her next birthday.

Kate leaned down to him and set a feather-light kiss on Rick's forehead.

"Fire this woman," she said, not looking up, but stroking the man she loved so much over the head.

Victoria Green cleared her throat.

"I am not allowed to give any information about Doctor LeBlanche, so I can't tell you that she not only fired but never again allowed to work in health-care. May it be human or animals."

To Martha, Kate's smile showed not only the exhaustion and desperation of the happenings, but also a bit of unhealthy craziness.

One arm was connected to the machine who kept her son alive, which gave Martha the feeling that Kate gave indeed a bit of her life for the man she wanted to share it with.

For Martha herself it was no big deal: she would've given as much blood as needed, not because she and Alexis were the most fitting donators -after all half of his blood was hers in some way- but because she would do anything needed to keep her family save.

At all costs.

And that this woman, a stranger to her, Alexis and Richard six years ago, was willing to give all she could to save his life as well, touched her deeply.

Without further thought she went to Kate and wrapped her in a tight embrace.

"What do you want: a "Welcome-Home"-party for you or a birthday-party for Richard?" She whispered in her ear.

Kate put her arms around the woman automatically and closed her eyes. Nothing better than the embrace of a mother right now.

"I don't care, I just want it big and crowded and with loud music and so much laughter that our stomachs ache after weeks still."

"We'll do that. I set it up and after we slept the hangover away Alexis, Ms Parish and we both go get you a wedding-dress. We don't just buy you one, a woman like you deserves a wedding-dress specially sewed for her."

Kate opened her mouth to protest, but Martha leaned back and gave her a stern look.

"Don't even think about starting to refuse. You're not the only stubborn, thick-headed woman here, you know?"

The younger one closed her mouth and smiled gratefully. Then she hugged her again.

"You Castle-Rogers make me cry and laugh more than I did since I lost my mother."

"Always glad to help."

With that Martha went back to the cot and laid down, allowing Dr Green to tie her to her son once again.

"Agent Beckett?"

Kate growled inwardly. She already hated being addressed like this.

McCord stood in the frame, her face not giving away what she wanted.

"Can I have a word with you?"

u-_-u

* * *

1. McCord reminds me a bit of Myka Bering from "Warehouse 13" (actress Joanne Kelly, _Lee Wax_ in "Ghosts"), so I put her in here.  
2. Birthday-party in the way that Rick was given a second chance to live.  
3. Hello to my german-speaking readers! Der zweite Grund, warum Green _Victoria_ heißt ist, dass ich die Stimme von Victoria Sturm in der dt. "Castle"-Synchro lieber höre als die OV.  
4. Regardless of which is your native language, review any way you like here, but review!-)


	9. Partners

**A/N: I**f there is any similarity to the promo or the episode itself it is not on purpose! I hate to spoiler myself, so I don't watch _any_ promos at all.

* * *

"Take her to get something to drink. Water, tea and something to eat as well, Agent, she needs some life in her veins." Victoria didn't even look up as she said that. True concern couldn't be hidden though.

McCord nodded and Beckett followed her.

She led her to the elevator, riding a few floors up, but not to the rooms Beckett knew.

The door her new partner opened revealed a room like the one back in the 12th where the families of the victims were asked the questions: sofa, coffee-table and a comfortable armchair.

Beckett slumped on the sofa, McCord took seat in the armchair.

"I'm not one to talk too much, so let's get to the subject: They give you two options.  
Option one: you drop out of the case and this job.  
Option two: you work from your desk with us, combining all the information we give you. If you're successful, they consider giving you a second chance."

Beckett nodded.

She took the mug of chamomile tea, which had been placed on the table before she'd entered the room, and set it on her knee. The warmth seeped through the fabric of her pants as she decided:

"I can't take either of these options."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

Kate took a sip and cleared her throat. She looked at the woman when she spoke: "I can't leave this case unsolved or being solved without my contribution. But I also can't accept the offer for a permanent job here. I'll solve this first and last case with you, then I hope to get back to New York and pick up my old routine there."

McCord showed a small smile.

"Believe it or not, but I expected something like that from you. You're hard, Beckett, but you have something most of us have lost up here: a heart. In my personal opinion it is the dumbest thing to do, letting a job like that go down."  
Kate looked up at her, puzzled.

"But for you, for your abilities to be not only _on_ a team, but to _lead_ one, you're wasted here. This is a job for maniacs, workaholics. Not people with family and a real wish to bring down the bad guys.

"Just promise to call me once in a while. And if you need something, you have my number."

She stood up and offered Beckett a hand to shake.

"It was nice working with you, Detective Beckett."

"Thank you," Beckett said. "And I know my head was somewhere else, but I really appreciated not having a whole kindergarten to take care of, but serious Agents to work with."

McCord actually laughed.

"I'll check in on you as long as you're here. Until then, good luck."

Beckett thanked her again and made her way back to the elevator.

_Who would've thought I would turn down an offer like that for a man?  
And who would've thought it feels that right?_

u-_-u

* * *

Castle is alive.

There is more to come, like 3 or 4 chaps and I have some good ending in mind;-)  
And yes, now I saw that it was DreamWORLD; NOT ~land...my bad.


	10. Silhouette to sunshine

**AN: T**hanks for all the alerts/favs! I really am glad you love this story as much as I do!-)

* * *

This time, Martha slept and Alexis was sitting at her father's bed, holding his hand and staring blankly at his face.

"Victoria gave me this." Kate handed her a bowl of porridge.

"With fruits?"

"No, just something to eat to keep standing," she sat down in the armchair the girl had been sleeping in before.

"He will be okay, right Kate?"

"Sure. No one of us will ever let him go. Not after all we went through because of him." Kate gave her one of the Beckett-eye-rolls and smiled reassuringly.

Alexis smiled thinly.

"Thank you for accepting him." It was hardly audible.

"He didn't really leave me a choice," Kate reached out and rubbed Alexis' shoulder. "None of you did in fact."

"Ouch…"

Both women jumped up as they heard his voice.

"Dad!"

"Castle!"

Martha awoke with a start.

"Richard?"

"No' so loud," he mumbled, trying to open his eyes.

"How're you feeling?" Alexis asked, fear and excitement obvious.

"Bad."

"Mister Castle, I'm Doctor Green. Can you understand me?"

He nodded, trying to lift his hand.

"Can you move your right hand?"

He squeezed the one Martha was holding.

"The left?"

His daughter laughed out in happiness.

"Your feet?"

Green lifted the blanket at the foot of the bed and grinned.

"Wonderful. Does is hurt somewhere special? "

He laid his hand on his stomach.

"Can you tell me if it's odd, or are you just hungry?"

Two fingers lifted confirmed the later.

"I'll get you something for your veins to eat." With a more than enthusiastic smile she rushed out the door. From afar there could be heard: "I am the best! I saved Richard Castle!"

Martha, Kate and Alexis laughed.

_Not only dad was saved here._

w-_-w

Sleep, eat, hold his hand, talk to his mother and daughter.

That was all Kate did in the next few hours.

When the sun rose, Kate drove to her apartment, took a shower and dressed in something more comfortable. Jeans and t-shirt were easier to sleep in by his side and since she didn't have to work, she didn't care what impression her clothes left.

Sure, she would brief with McCord everyday, but for now she was just the fiancé of the man with the blood of his women in his life.

Rick woke up sporadically, smiling or cracking a few words out.

Alexis was excused from school and Martha had made a few calls to cancel her classes.

Lanie and Esposito were on the way, Ryan had told them he'd do anything necessary to get Kate's old job for her back, because he couldn't travel and so leave Jenny and his unborn child alone now.

The odds were good, because since Beckett was away, no other Detective had taken her place.

Green had gotten the family a more comfortable room, with a couch to sleep on and a radio to drown the silence with some background-noise.  
You could tell she was not only happy to have saved a famous author, but a man, loved by these remarkable three women.

w-_-w

* * *

What's next? Well, one chapter showing Kate's only human and how the boys fit into her current mess of life. And one last chap giving this whole thing a wonderful finale.

Unitl then- review, please!


End file.
